Chris is the love of my life and my best friend. He is a gorgeous, kind, gentle, silly and a generous man.
We have been together seven amazing years… Chris was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2020 ..
Chris had been experiencing nightmares every night to the point he would wake up screaming, shaking and sweating. This would happen every night. Chris would be petrified to go to bed at night he would do anything to stay awake. Unfortunately these nightmares then escalated to him experience his nightmares whilst he was awake, as simple as walking down an isle in our local supermarket he would freeze and shake and he would not be able to move, he would describe it as he was living and seeing his nightmare happen before his eyes to the point he could see, taste and smell as if it was actually happening. Chris would loose his eye sight, taste things and smells things, and have slurred speech constantly throughout the day. Unfortunately one Monday afternoon in 2020 Chris was driving back home when he looked at me and I knew something was wrong. Within seconds Chris was having a seizure and he died in the car for 8 minutes. Luckily the ambulance came and took him straight to hospital. The hardest part was Chris had to be in the hospital all by himself as Covid had just happened. We was both scared, and I hated that I could not be there for him in person to hold his hand. Whilst being in hospital he had many tests done for them to find he had a brain tumour. Chris was then taken to Nottingham hospital for a biopsy and then that’s where our world fall apart as we both just thought it would be a simple operation, we did not realise the severity of his condition. To hear his oncoloncologist say “unfortunately Chris we have some very bad news the position and the size of the tumour it is in a place we cannot opperate. Unfortunately this means we can not do anything for you Chris and you are unfortunately dying”. We both looked at each other and cried.
“Despite these symptoms, and him doing radiotherapy at the time he was full of life, always happy even though he was in so much pain. Chris was meant to have a year’s worth of chemotherapy alongside chemotherapy needles that we need at home, unfortunately the strength of the chemotherapy had demaged his heart and he was told they could not do anymore after 2 months. It was just devastating and a real blow.
We are so blessed to have these amazing people around us supporting him. They have never treated him any different or make him feel belittled in any way. They are always there for him, even on his worst days they always show they care. They know when he pretends to be okay, as they see straight through that. I love that Chris feels like he does not have to hide around certain people, he can be himself and cry when he is in pain.
We got married in September 2021, even though it was not a big wedding, to us it was perfect.
As the time is going on Chris is having more bad days then good. He can no longer do the things he used to love as his body won’t let him or he gets out of breath so quickly. This really infuriates Chris and he starts to hate himself and he feels like a failure. It is so heartbreaking to watch the person you love die and become a shell of the person they used to be. His memory is getting so bad I am on constant repeat 😂 .
But despite all of this I am definitely the lucky one to have such a beautiful soul in my life and the best thing is I get to call him my husband. I would rather live this life with him than not have him by myside anymore. Through sickness and health has never been so true!
“Chris told me that raising money is so important because ‘people with cancer deserve it’.”
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